Archive for July, 2013

Pakistani Syndrome

I love Facebook! It feeds me such gems as these:

http://fahimakhter.wordpress.com/2013/07/23/oversease-pakistani-syndrome/

Of course I couldn’t resist blogging. So, here’s my take.

DISCLAIMER: I’m cautious. So, I’ve decided to put a disclaimer at the start and end of my article so as to make CRYSTAL, which is also another word for CLEAR, that this piece is not for those Pakistanis who do not have a green passport, do not live in Pakistan, are related to me or are my friends. This article has got to do absolutely nothing with them; this has to do with the rest of them. I mean us. Us them. Okay. End of disclaimer.

ARTICLE: My issue is not with my countrymen who think we living oversease (emphasis on sease) are bad. My issue is not even with their choice of words and temperament and bad jokes when rebuffing us. My issue is every Pakistani living in Pakistan proudly providing me with tempting targets – our politicians (heathen gods), society (chaos), mullas healthcare (what?), education (lack of), infrastructure (bombed), security (total collapse), law and justice (sold dime a dozen – or by diyat if you will), terror infested, corruption ridden uncivilized piece of land, drawing rooms without central heating/cooling, power outages every half hour, poor on the street, our birthright to litter, to not pay taxes and to try our best to get away with as little work as possible – and then tells me to stop pointing it all out ‘cause it makes them feel bad.

Well, boo hoo! Here’s a Kleenex for your tears. That’ll be $4.00. Don’t worry, we’ll minus that from the next installment we send over.

UNDISCLAIMER: I think it is not my weekness (yes, I write weekly) of writing that I could convey my point properly. I am criticizing anyone for telling me I don’t have a right to criticize Pakistan for one (insert comma, full stop, some form of goddamn punctuation!) secondly I have every right to ask how you spend your money (because it includes the amount we send over, too) and how you live. Not all Pakistanis are like that. Heck my father earned an honest living, paid his taxes, never littered in the streets, left his high paying job in a foreign land to come back to Pakistan and now, in his retirement days, sits wondering in extreme heat and power outage what the hell was he thinking?!! And when he screams for his rights, I scream LOUDER.

And if you don’t agree, you should pay up for that Kleenex right now.

Accepting is the first step my friend.

CLAIMER: This post is in response to another blogger’s article. If you haven’t read the said article, please scroll all the way up and stop when you arrive at a LINK (line 2 of this post), hover your mouse over the link, click the link, if it doesn’t work or your mouse has issues, copy/paste the link in a separate browser, press ENTER, then READ that article by that writer there before asking this writer here – what is the writer trying to convey??!!!!!!!!

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News from Zombieland

Posted: July 15, 2013 in It angers me...

News from Zombieland

The picture shows Malala Yousufzai. The picture text reads:

“Mukhtar Mai
Part II
on exhibition in the UN now”

Mukhtar Mai – gang raped as form of honor revenge on orders of her tribal council. her perpetrators walked away free.

Malala Yusufzai – shot in the head by Taliban because she wrote against them. her shooters were never caught.

Yes! Malala IS Mukhtar Mai Part 2!!

They are both victims of a sick society that honors atrocities. And yes, we are unfortunate to have people sick enough to make fun of and ridicule these victimized women for speaking out. I am appalled to see posters like these on the internet coming from Pakistan. But then, as a friend just reminded me, what else can be expected from a culture of silencing the women who speak up against the status quo. They are troublemakers. They need to be brushed under the carpet.

Right!

Perhaps, Pakistan does deserve all the mayhem that’s plaguing it.

Perhaps, a Malala should never be born in that Land of the Impure!

Halalgoogling

Posted: July 8, 2013 in It angers me...

Halalgoogling

A friend posted this link to my FB wall today:
http://tribune.com.pk/story/573637/halalgoogling-search-engine-for-muslims-launches/

The article above says, and I quote:

/According to the report, a team of ‘internet experts’ all around the world had been working for years on the project. The need for such a search engine arose with 1.5 billion Muslims around the world worrying about the content provided over the internet to their children and even themselves./

Which report? 1.5 billion Muslims? Who is getting all these numbers and from where? How come we’re never included in any such interesting ventures? Where do these Muslims live? Mars? I know about some 200 dozen Muslims myself and 100% percent of them are pretty huge fans of Google. We don’t like Bing, though. It doesn’t doodle.

And if these 1.5 billion Muslims were anything like us – as in concerned parents looking for ways to block adult content while their kids surfed the net, then surely this number included the 2.7 trillion Christians I know who feel the same way, and the 9.quarter majilion Jews, the Hindus, Buddhists and of course the 2.5 Mayans who surface every centennial rapture.

Now, the real question is – does the search engine work?

Since I don’t belong to the tiny schizophrenic world of the aforementioned report compilers where 1.5 million Muslims live and deliver desirable results to substantiate any survey – I’d never heard of Halalgoogling. So, I Googled it. And got nothing.

I’m guessing this means, it works…

My last query is: who named this engine? Could they be more original? How about TruNet or TruSearch or lets jazz it up – Hoogling! Anything that doesn’t exactly spell out O Lord! I Submit To Thee Via Internet Only.

Lastly, if a day arrives when I can actually find it on the net, I might introduce it to my kids. It might be fun!